


Will you remember me in the same way as I remember you?

by orphan_account



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bickering, Blood and Violence, Coming Out, Flashbacks, Henry Bowers is His Own Warning, Homophobia, M/M, Mentioned Bill Denbrough, Mentioned Mike Hanlon, Mentioned Sonia Kaspbrak, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:55:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24752764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Richie Tozier is going back home.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 30





	Will you remember me in the same way as I remember you?

**Author's Note:**

> A quick thing I wrote for my best friend who requested a Reddie fic with Richie coming out.

A red MG pulled up to a gas station. 

Immediately a man got out of the car and ran across the parking lot, barely reaching the bushes before vomiting.  
  
  
  
  


The man in question was Richie Tozier who had received a call from an old friend earlier that night.

He had no idea why, but his instinct had told him to listen to the oddly familiar voice

[ _Mike Hanlon..._ ]

on the phone, pack his bags and go. He had sworn to keep a promise that had been made back when he was just a kid. And so he was on his way.

"This is fucking ridiculous," Richie had thought. "Why the fuck am I even doing this? Am I going insane?" He squirmed on his seat and took a glance at the rear-view mirror. "I have a job, I can't just leave like this. Get it together, Richard."  
  


It would've been so easy to just turn back now and forget this ever happened. But something didn't allow him to do that.

He looked down at his palm. There was a huge scar that he didn't have any rational explanation for,

[ _the blood oath..._ ]

but it hurt. A throbbing pain had appeared right after the phone call.

Nothing made sense. How could someone completely forget about their childhood? How could Richie not remember where he grew up - Derry, Maine, as the signs along the highway had said - until only a few hours ago? This situation had really messed him up. Not only his mind, but his stomach as well. He kept throwing up.

And that's exactly why he was currently on the side of the parking lot, hunched over with his hands on his weak knees.  
  
After making sure he was done emptying his insides for now, he tried to balance himself and tottered back to his car to lock the doors. He took a deep breath and headed towards the gas station's convenience store.  
  
  
  
  


The bright light made Richie squint as he stepped in. His eyes had already gotten used to the dark while driving.  
  
The cashier greeted him, but Richie wasn't paying attention. He was only here to get himself a bottle of water. And a mint.  
  
He quickly found what he was looking for and leaned his elbow on the counter, taking a wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans.  
  
  


"Trashmouth!"

Richie stopped in his tracks and snapped his head up.

"Excuse me?"

The cashier was a young lady with long, red hair on a ponytail and freckles decorating her round cheeks.

"Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier. The comedian, right?" She tilted her head. "I've been to your show twice in L.A.! What has brought you here in the middle of nowhere, if you don't mind me asking?"  
  
"Oh... **OH** ," Richie shook his head. "Yeah, that's me. I'm just passing by, on my way to uh... meet up with some friends."

The girl smiled, trying to contain herself. "Dude, my friends are never gonna believe me when I tell them I met you!"

"We can take a picture if you want to show them proof?" Richie winked. "Sorry I look like shit, though. I experienced a little motion sickness on my way here."  
  
"Oh my god, no, you look great! I'm the one looking rough here, working a night shift with these bags under my eyes," The girl laughed. "Hold on a second!"

Before Richie managed to say a word, she disappeared behind the curtain to get her phone.

He could not stop thinking about how this girl reminded him of someone he knew.

Who?

Richie rubbed the bridge of his nose.

A hazy memory of a girl formed into his mind. Girl with greenish eyes, ginger hair and fair skin.  
  


[Bevvie...]

Beverly Marsh! Her name was Beverly Marsh!

Richie could now connect the name to a face.  
  
Mental images of them spending countless afternoons together, sharing cigarettes and thoughts, started flooding in out of nowhere.  
  
  


Richie walked back to his car after taking the picture and thanking the cashier who still wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not.

Richie wasn't sure either.  
He sat down, closed the door and stared ahead of him for a while before starting the car.  
  
  
  
  
*** * ***  
  
  
  
  


He remembered dancing with Beverly. It's not like either of them knew how to dance, but that didn't stop them from having a blast. Kids In America by Kim Wilde was playing on the radio.

"Nice moves," Beverly snickered.

"I'm straight up jiving," Richie grinned. "Not bad yourself, my little chickadee!"

Beverly stuck her tongue out in disgust. They called each other pet names as a joke, but Richie tend to go a little overboard with the cheesiness.  
  
  


They were skipping class together - gym class to be exact. Beverly had lied she was on her period and Richie just simply didn't show up. This was one of the reasons he had trouble with school. He wasn't stupid or anything. In fact he was really good at math and a bunch of other subjects, a really intelligent kid. The only problem was his behavior. Especially the fact that he had no filter. He did not get along with the older boys or teachers. Even when he tried his best to keep his mouth shut and sit still, it never worked. Focusing seemed impossible.

So, why not spend the afternoon listening to these tunes behind an abandoned building instead?  
  
  


The song changed. Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper played next.

Both of them stopped their wild swinging.

Beverly gasped. "Richie, you have to dance this song with me!" She grabbed him by the wrist and guided his hands on her waist.

"Like... slow dance?" Richie questioned.

"Yes, dummy!" She answered, wrapping her own hands behind his neck. "You better not step on my toes, Tozier."

"Can't promise anything, ma'am," Richie teased.  
  
  
He wasn't sure if it was a perfume, but Beverly somehow always smelled good. Maybe all girls were just born with a natural rosey scent.

For once Richie did not say a word for a whole minute while swaying to the song.

  
"Have you ever felt this way about someone?" Beverly whispered suddenly.

Richie frowned. "What way?" 

"The lyrics. Listen to them."

Richie shrugged, trying to avoid the question. "I don't know."  
  
"You don't know?" Beverly repeated in a suspecting tone. "You're telling me you've never had a crush?"

Richie stayed quiet.

"Come on, Rich. I've opened up to you about my feelings towards Bill before. It's your turn."

"Mine's a little more complicated," Richie finally said and swallowed audibly.

"Well, now I'm even more interested," Beverly looked up at him. "Spit it out, Trashmouth!"  
  
"No way, Bev. Sorry."

"Please? I won't tell anyone."

"Bev..."

Richie was staring at his shoes. He couldn't even look in Beverly's direction.

"You have to promise me," He sounded serious. "Not a word. Even to the rest of the Losers."

"I promise!"

Richie let out a sigh, followed by silence.

Beverly started to look concerned. It was rare seeing him like this.

"Hey-" She tried, but was interrupted.  
  


"It's Eddie."

Both of them fell silent again. There was a puzzled expression on Beverly's face.

"But Eddie is a-"

"I know," Richie's voice cracked.

"Oh, honey," Beverly pulled him closer, offering comfort. Richie's lower lip started trembling.  
  
"I'm so sorry I pressured you, I had no idea," Beverly apologized, squeezing her friend tighter.

"It's okay." Richie let his cheek rest against Beverly's.

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me... I'm proud of you, Rich."

Richie sobbed.

"I love you, Bevvie."  
  
  
  
  
*** * ***  
  
  
  
  


Richie's eyes watered.

[ _Eddie..._ ]

His grip on the steering wheel was so firm his knuckles had turned white.

He remembered that afternoon clearly now. So clearly it almost felt like he had just relived it in his mind.

He wiped his eyes under the glasses.

  
  
Beverly was the first person he ever came out to.

Richie used to have issues with accepting himself. Years of denial. But who could blame him? Back then homophobia was blossoming in Derry. Brutally.

Unfortunately he had to experience it first-hand.  
  
  
  
It seemed like the shorter the distance between him and Derry got, the more he could remember by each passing mile.  
  
  
  
  
*** * ***  
  
  
  
  


" **Richie Tozier sucks flamer cock** " was written on the bathroom stall he was hiding in. His big mouth had once again got him into trouble with Henry Bowers and his gang.

"Where the fuck are you, Tozier?" An irritated voice echoed in the hallway. The voice belonged to the devil himself.

"Get your ass over here you little shit!"

The shouting and the footsteps were constantly getting closer and it made Richie shudder. He held his breath, praying that a teacher would soon hear what was going on and put a stop to it.

"You're dead! You hear me? Dead!"  
  
  
  
  


" _ **Henry!**_ "

For a moment Richie thought he was saved. However the spark of hope was soon extinguished when he recognized the voice. It was not an adult, it was Patrick Hockstetter.  
  


"Over here," Patrick hinted from the doorstep. Richie could hear the ominous smile in his voice.

He froze.

A sudden, loud slam against the stall made him jump.  
  


"Found you!" Henry laughed. "Come out. I'll fucking kill you."

That sounded inviting.

"I'll kill you, motherfucker!" Another slam.

"Get some new material, champ," Richie quickly slapped his hands over his mouth. _Why the fuck did he say that out loud? Shut up, shut up, shut up!  
  
_

"The fuck did you just say?" Henry was fuming.  
"Vic! Belch! The door!" He ordered.

Next thing Richie heard was the lock getting busted. It was old and barely even did it's job anymore, so it wasn't that difficult to break.

Before he knew it, he was being held up against the wall by the collar of his shirt.  
  


"Not so witty anymore, huh?"

Richie gulped. This was it. This was the day he was going to die.

Henry hit his head against Richie's. Hard. So hard that his glasses broke and fell onto the floor. Patrick stepped on them just to make sure they were most certainly destroyed.

Richie felt dizzy. Henry threw him on the floor next to his glasses - or what was left of them - so forcefully that a part of Richie's shirt ripped and the older boy was now gripping onto pieces of torn fabric.

Victor and Belch didn't waste time grabbing both of Richie's arms to hold him down while chuckling. "Yeah, get him!"

Henry towered over him. "You're pathetic." He spit on his face. "We don't need cocky lil fags like you around here. This is my fucking town!"  
  


Henry kneeled between Richie's legs, raising his fist.

  
"Get-"

**[punch]**

"The fuck-"

**[punch]**

"Out-"

**[punch]**

"Of my town!"

Richie could taste the thick blood sliding down his throat, but he didn't even feel pain. His nose just felt numb. So did his left cheek.

Luckily to him, the group of students that had gathered near the doorway to see what was going down had caught a teacher's attention.  
  
  
  
"Boys! Boys break it up this instant!" _ **  
  
**_

Henry gave the teacher a deadly glare.

"Bowers! Principal's office, now! Do not make me call your father!"

He finally backed off, grunting.

"The rest of you as well!"

Victor and Belch followed Henry out looking like puppies who've been caught doing something bad. Patrick was the only one still smirking as he headed out with the gang.

  
The teacher, Mr. Ross, looked down at Richie who was still on the floor. "Except you, Tozier. You better go see the school nurse. Do you need assistance?"  
  
"I'll be fine, sir," Richie slurred.

"You sure, kid?" The man worried.

"Positive!" He gave a thumbs up.

"Alright then," Mr. Ross turned around. "Everyone back to class! Nothing to see here!"  
  
  


The hallway emptied quickly when all of the nosy kids returned to wherever they were supposed to be.

  
  
All, except one little boy with dark hair and big, brown doe eyes who rushed into the bathroom.

  
  
"Jesus Christ, dude! Are you okay?" The boy dropped his backpack and helped Richie sit up.  
  


"Terrific, Eds," He replied. Richie's vision was blurry, but he could tell the boy was Eddie Kaspbrak from the sound of his high-pitched voice that spoke faster than his brains registered.

"Let me help," Eddie said, grabbing some paper and dampening it with cold water under the tap.

"You know, I'm actually gonna get beat up even worse once I tell my mom I broke my glasses for the second time this month," Richie snorted.  
  
Eddie ignored him. "Hold still," He carefully started to clean up the blood dripping down Richie's face.

Richie forgot to breathe for a moment.

"You need to tilt your head down and pinch your nose," Eddie adviced.

"Down? I've been taught to throw my head back when-"

"That's the wrong way. Believe me, I know this stuff, Rich."

Richie did as he was told.  
  
"We still need to get you to the nurse. To make sure you don't have a concussion or something," Eddie reached out and used all of his strength to pull the taller boy up.

"There we go."  
  
  
  
  
*** * ***  
  
  
  
  


Eddie Kaspbrak.

Everything was too intense to handle right now. A wave of strong emotions washed over Richie's entire system and he felt like he had to pull over again. He didn't, though, since he was getting so close already that there most likely weren't any stops left before the final stop; his hometown.

"You can do this, man," Richie tried to convince himself.

The name still didn't leave his thoughts.

 **Eddie fucking Kaspbrak.**  
  
  
  
  
*** * ***  
  
  
  
  
Memory of a coffee shop entered his mind. A coffee shop that probably didn't exist anymore. But it did back when Richie was 13 years old.  
  


Him and Eddie would go there often. Neither of them drank coffee, but they were there to get milkshakes instead. Eddie's mother wouldn't let his son drink anything with caffeine in it - according to her it was dangerous. Richie on the other hand just didn't like the taste. Maybe that was only a good thing, considering the fact that he was already very hyper without any caffeine.

On a casual saturday noon, they had met at this particular place once again. Richie had bought them a strawberry milkshake to share, because his dad had paid him his weekly allowance.

Both of them dipped their straws right in. Eddie was enjoying it very much until Richie started acting up as usual. He started blowing bubbles into the shake.

  
  
"Ew, stop that you dickhead!" Eddie yelled.  
  
"No fun allowed? Aw shucks."

"That's not fun, it's gross," Eddie continued.

Richie raised his eyebrows. "Have you tried it?"

"No, and I won't," Eddie crossed his arms. "I won't sink that low."

His pride wouldn't let him admit that he was curious to try.

"You're like the tiniest adult I've ever met," Richie said. "So boring."

Eddie flipped him off.  
  


"Anyway," Richie changed the subject. "Wanna go to my place after we're done, Eddie Spaghetti?"

Eddie scrunched his nose. "No, if you're not gonna quit using those lame nicknames."

"OK then, Edward Kaspbrak. Not gonna lie, that sounds like a vampire name." Richie took a sip of the milkshake.

"God you're so fucking annoying."

"Love you too."  
  
  
  
  
  


Eventually they arrived at Richie's house where his mother, Maggie Tozier, was just about to leave.

"Oh, hi Eddie!" She said before getting into the car. "Does your mom know you're here?" Maggie wanted to make sure. She knew how strict Sonia Kaspbrak was.

"Yes, Mrs. Tozier," Eddie smiled politely.

"Okay," She looked at Richie. "Honey, your dad's in the backyard if you boys need anything."

Richie nodded and waved. "Bye, mom."

They closed the door behind them and ran upstairs.  
  
  


Richie had a lot of comic books in his room. He handed one of them over to Eddie.

"Here you go, Spaghetti man. It's the newest one."

Eddie rolled his eyes, but grabbed the comic anyway. "Still not my name."  
  
  


Richie drowned deep into his thoughts while the fan kept making a steady sound in the background.

It was at times like this he was be able to admire Eddie without getting a "What the hell are you staring at?" - comment. He was hopelessly attracted to the boy, but too afraid to make a move. He feared that Eddie would hate him and disappear from his life forever. Richie was sick after all, right? He never wanted to scare Eddie away.

He scooted a little closer.  
  
  
  


"Did your mom really let you come over, Eds?"

Eddie lift his gaze from the comic book.

"No. She doesn't know I'm here." Eddie scratched his jaw. "She thinks you're bad influence for me."

Richie coughed out a laugh. "What, am I a bad boy?"

Eddie slapped him with the comic book, trying to keep a straight face. "You're a fucking nightmare to be honest."  
  
"Ouch," Richie wailed. "That's harsh." He placed a hand over his chest to fake being hurt.

Eddie giggled. Richie melted right away. _Wow, I really made him laugh._

  
"Listen, Eddie..." He started.

Eddie turned to look at him.

"Don't get mad at me for saying this, but your mom is not right about everything."

"I know," Eddie said quietly and looked down.  
  
"In her opinion, I don't need any friends except for her. But that's crazy, right? I mean, wouldn't it be weird if your only friend was your own mom?" Eddie scoffed. "She also says I'm fragile... That I always have been. That's why she won't even allow me to do sports. And I love doing sports! Running track feels amazing! But I haven't done that ever since she yelled at my P.E. teacher the last time. It was embarrassing."  
  


Richie felt bad for him.

"You're not made of glass, Eds. Your mom is just being overprotective. You're a lot stronger than you think. A lot stronger than she makes you think."

Eddie smiled, but looked like he was about to cry.

"Thank you, Rich."  
  
  


On impulse, Richie gave a gentle kiss on Eddie's forehead. His blood immediately ran cold when he realized what he did. What if Eddie wasn't cool with that? What if Richie had overstepped boundaries? What if-  
  
  
  
  


"You know what?"

To Richie's surprise, Eddie pulled him into a hug and smooched his left cheek that still was a little bruised thanks to Bowers.

"Fuck my mom. She doesn't know what's good for me."  
  


Richie's face lit up.  
  


"Yeah, fuck your mom!"

  
"Fuck my mom!"

  
"I'll fuck your mom."

  
Eddie paused and pushed him.  
  
"Nevermind. I can't stand you." He stood up, pretending to leave.  
  


"No!" Richie yelled. "I'm sorry, Eds!"

Both of them bursted into laughter. Eddie fell back next to Richie and leaned into him.

Richie's entire body was on fire. Eddie Kaspbrak had just kissed his cheek. His heart was so full he felt like it was about to burst.  
  
  
  
  
*** * ***  
  
  
  
  


Richie parked the car. There were trails of dried tears on his cheeks.

He had made it. He was back home. About to meet the other Losers who were most likely waiting for him inside already.

Richie tried to open the door with his sweaty hands.

_Deep breaths, Rich._

He got up, locked the doors and felt like he was going to pass out at any given moment.

Slowly, he started walking towards the entrance.  
  
  
  
  
  
In the lobby, there were five familiar faces, reunited.

One of them caught his attention the most the second he saw him.

  
A boy with dark hair and big, brown doe eyes. Only a little bit grown since the last time.

  
Richie's heart skipped a beat.

_It's been so long._

He couldn't help but wonder if Eddie still remembered after 27 years.


End file.
